Sometimes I get what I call an emotion hangover – after feeling really happy I get really angry and depressed for no good reason. And it’s worse than my standard down phases; I find it hard to talk, feel like I’m constantly about to cry, relate to sad songs, want to cry at happy songs...
Sometimes I think there’s something seriously wrong with me, but that everyone knows it except me. I feel like every nice thing is said to humour me, and every joking tease is meant. I feel like everything is rehearsed and no longer has any meaning. I feel like no one feels the same about me that I’ve ever felt about them...any connection with anyone I’ve ever felt was all in my mind.
To be honest, you sound like a perfectly normal (stress the perfect part) teenage female. A while back, Mum banned me from being in a room where Down by Jay Sean was playing because I would burst into tears for no reason when it came on. She concluded I must have been thinking something really deep and depressing the first time I heard it. But the point is, ending your childhood etc. is a highly transitional phase, and yes things lose their old meaning and take on new ones, yes you get yourself down every now and then. But you can't let the world make you think that you're not a great, worthy person, because I know you and you are. You are normal in a totally cool, individual way, Kaitlyn, and I love you.
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