I don't even know where the past few days have gone.
Stella in elaborately cooled and rinsed weird glasses, forgetting my glasses and not being able to see much at all, not knowing where I am, repeating myself because I've forgotten who I've said what to, screaming karaoke at the poor Japanese guy that came to kick us out, 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AIN'T ONE, stumbling off to throw up in the bathroom and being so drunk I don't even cry like I usually do, sharing maxi taxis with 35 year old diesel mechanics that pay $20 for a $11 fare, "I don't like to cuddle" then cuddling for six hours, not getting out of bed til 3pm, no sleep, breakfast at 5pm, watching movies seriously wondering if we all died and are in the afterlife, going out again against all my body's protests, same clothes, mild panic attacks at busy Sunday session venue, going away party for someone I haven't even seen in two years, first breathanalyser test taking three tries to work, SuperPump to rehydrate, bed, finally.

"It is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion. A man who is a master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don't want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them."

"The people who love only once in their lives are really the shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination. Faithfulness is to the emotional life what consistency is to the life of the intellect - simply a confession of failure. Faithfulness! I must analyse it some day. The passion for property is in it. There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up."

Eloquently organised, lusting after men with long hair.
Lose the rings though mate.

Gonna start using this again

Because I'm the lowest I've been in a long time and being trapped with my thoughts ain't no fun at all.





So here's to living life miserable
And here's to all the lonely stories that I've told
Maybe drinking wine would validate my sorrow
Every man needs a muse and mine could be the bottle
Maybe then I could sleep at night
I wouldn't lie awake until the morning light
This is something that I'll never control
My nerves will be the death of me, I know.

Finally I could hope for a better day
No longer holding on to the things that cloud my mind
Maybe then the weight of the world wouldn't seem so heavy
But then again I'll probably always feel this way
At least I know I'll never sleep at night
I'll always lie awake until the morning light
This is something that I'll never control
My nerves will be the death of me
My nerves will be the death of me
My nerves will be the death of me, I know.